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Thursday, February 26, 2009, 2:03 AM
zc birthday
its zhencong's birthday today , happy 18th birthday to you (:idk what i'm doing nowadays , but for something i'm sure that is i'm not good . i hated myself for being like this , i hated my life . i don't wish to play anymore . that name sucks . i just want my kids to be safe and fine . i'm happy with anything .
speaking th truth . sometimes i think of you , suddenly , at some places , some special times . but i know its impossible , what i've dreaming wasn't true . wake me up .
together with claire , zhencong and tairong nowadays more often . i feel more happy than th past . but one time for sure , i still ain't that happy w/o you . regardless that you're gona hate , scold , insult me or whatever . but i meant no offence , this is my blog . i just wana post how i feel .
to think of it , it was jus my own retribution . i don't blame anyone , neither do i blame you . i wana learn picking up myself from where i fall , but it wasn't as easy as it thinks . i just hope you'll stay happily now , i know you are . jus carry like this . okay ? i just wana know that you're happy everyday . thats all i need .
i know you're upset now , but i'm jus nobody to you , nothing to you . i cant be there to help you , stay beside you like th past , but i'll always be there for you . no matter what happens . take me as a friend or foe , i let you decide .
army days are approaching . i'll damn miss my frens , my brother and my family . although i can't bear to part you guys , but i've no choice .
i asked daddy , can we not go ?
he turned away without looking me .
i love you guys , (: