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16JAN91
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Thursday, January 1, 2009, 12:16 PM
xD
long time since i update , since i'm going to update , i shall say something meaningfull ? haahs .it was for 8months + , i greatly love th times we had together . th love we shared , some quarrels maybe ? (: in th past , i wasn't nice , yeah i know that . i regretted during th month of october , i broke down , i couldn't take it . it was hard , very hard . i lost control of myself , not knowing what i was doing , tears was like once in 5minutes . fortunately , i had my friends , they pulled me through . in th end i got u back , i was so happy. (:
months later , u start to change . changed totally towards me , ur attitude sucks , throwing ur temper whenever u like , showing me fuckup faces and shouting at me jus because i wanted to meet u before th chalet , lying to saying u didnt go find algin and gangs , yizhuang contacted u , flirting with SOMEPEOPLE , and even , going out with guys like yanheng and zhaoen , although they are my friends , ya . but have u ever thought how i feel ? everyday , ur blog was like " oh bolin this bolin that , oh yanheng this yanheng that " what am i ? am i dead ? u can even send comments to maoshien saying u miss him ? whenever we went up to aunty house , u goes " MAOMAO ! blahblah blah " talking to him like as though i wasn't there .i'm fine , all this i'm fine , i dont wana say out anything . why ? cause u promised to change for me , i trusted u , but surprise surprise , i log into someone's friendster , know what i've found ? i shall not say that though , now i know why u don't intend to add me back on msn and friendster now . cause th things u are doing , its th same as ur best fren . u can say her , but what are u doing ? do u know th first minute u say u wanted to cat that zhao en found , i cab down to aunty house using my last piece of 10$ just to fetch th cat to my house ? that day u came my house , i saw u playing with it so happily , i was glad , really glad , th next minute what comes out from ur mouth? " what time u wan return to zhao en ? " i was like , whatafuck ? u can even carry on saying i've no money left to buy food for pepper , insulting me like i cant even have th money to buy food for a cat ? ok i kept quiet , took up to aunty house . gave pepper back , cant u see i can't bear to ? yes i want to keep th cat , i wanted to so much . why are u forcing me to give it back ? why are u always with zhaoen yanheng bolin ? why are u doing this when u are with me ?
u say that zhaoen wanted to keep th cat , he has food everything , yeah , we gave him th cat , but in th end ? wheres pepper ? HE FUCKING THROW IT AT AUNTY HOUSE AND IGNORE HER U KNOW THAT ?
that very night , i didn't sleep . i thought it whole night . i know its impossible for u to change . i was foolish to trust u , believe to ur promises , now i know every hardwork i try to make u happy , u dont seems to appreciate it . still remember u call me once saying th cockcroach was at ur bed ? i was outside ur house , u know that ? i know u needed me , thats why i went down w/o telling u . i didn't tell u . what for ? i find , everything so no point now .
i've nothing more to say , i just could remember those happy times and forget thouse unhappy ones . takecare for th newyear (: